Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
