It's Friday. Sex?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
