You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
