brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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