Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
