Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize