we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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