There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
