Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
