I'm jealous of your bromance
4 words: hood of his car
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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