none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
