East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
