That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
