i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
