I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
