It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
