Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
