so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
