look no pants
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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