Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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