i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
