Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I looked at my own cervix.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
