Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
