Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
