I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize