Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
