Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
