whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
