im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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