He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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