the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
