That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just found a bag of teeth...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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