she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
this hospital has no fireball
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
