She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize