This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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