If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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