i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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