Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
