A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
