u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
