and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
