Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
tell me about the fingering
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