tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
