i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
