i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
