Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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