Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
