ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
