then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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