dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
