oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm really busy with my period
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