You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
