Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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