Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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