is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
