Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
