He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
