He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i think i have two assholes
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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