we're blogging at a bar
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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