Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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