do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize