The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
