I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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